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Taking Walt's Questions
Published at 10/27/2016
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Our fearless leader Walt had some questions in this week's picks article. He provides us with so much valuable information that I thought I would try to return the favour.

Question #1: "Stephen said that Deflategate could be the issue. Rodgers has struggled ever since the NFL mandated checking all footballs for air pressure. What if Rodgers happened to be deflating footballs as well? It's certainly possible, and I like that out-of-the-box thinking."

Answer #1: I, too, appreciate that out-of-the-box thinking. However, according to Rodgers himself, he actually has been overinflating footballs. Here's a quote from future CTE footnote Phil Simms, talking about A-Rod: 

"He said something was unique: 'I like to push the limit to how much air we can put in the football, even go over what they allow you to do, and see if the officials take air out of it,'" Simms recounted. "Because it's easier to grip, he likes them tight."

Simms and Nantz went on to gush about Rodgers' "big hands" and "strong grip", completely ignoring the fact that what Rodgers does is, technically, cheating. 

The closing quote at the end was the cherry on top: "You know, the officials do check those footballs," said Simms, "and sometimes may even get lucky and put an extra half a pound of air in there to help Aaron Rodgers out." 

Does anyone else get the feeling that Simms could talk for days about his 9/11 conspiracy theories? While he's completely untrustworthy, I just don't think he'd lie about this. Actually, Phil Simms is a lot like Aaron Rodgers' footballs, because they're both overinflated, but only one is overrated.

Question #2: "While on the subject, I've written this before, but something needs to be done about these London games. I don't understand why the NFL even considered having stupid early starts. What was wrong with the 1 p.m. Eastern start for London games? That's 6 p.m. London time. Are Englishmen not allowed out at night all of a sudden? Why else would Roger Goodell do this? Does he really think casual fans will wake up super early Sunday morning to watch a bad football game? He seriously can't be that stupid, can he?"

Answer #2: In fairness to Goodell, he's only a first-generation android; I'm sure future models will be much more advanced. I've heard the 2.0 line will actually show some real human emotions when making announcements. He really is terrible at his job, and he gets paid $44 million a year to do it. For anyone who thinks that's hyperbole, it's not. That's actually how much he makes.

In all seriousness, I can see how the decision was made. Let's walk through it. Please don't think I'm defending Goodell, as nobody dislikes him more than I do. The replacement ref debacle (including a guy from the Lingerie Football League), due to Goodell not wanting to make the refs full employees and pay them a proper pension, was totally unforgivable. Especially in light of his salary. The effort to make most kickoffs go through the end zone as a way to creep towards eliminating them entirely some day is also moronic.

Option A: 9:30 AM EST, in order to finish before the main slate of games. All TV programming decisions are made with a heavy eastern bias, as that's where the largest population is, and it's where most of the decisions are made. Besides, the 1:00 PM EST games start at 10:00 AM PST every week on the west coast, so for people in the east it's only half an hour earlier than the other side of the continent has to get up every Sunday.

Option B: 1:00 PM EST. The game would get lost in the shuffle and not seem special, so the NFL couldn't show off how global it thinks it is. If you don't think people are that deluded, some have suggested that American football be added to the Olympics. It will never happen, of course, because 99% of the players and 100% of the elite leagues are from/in a single country.

Option C: 4:05 or 4:25 EST: Same problem as above, but to a lesser extent.

Option D: Prime time. This is the middle of the night in London. Also, NBC and ESPN would never allow any competition with their prized possessions.

Option E: Post-prime time. It's still too early in London, and/or too late on the eastern seaboard.

Option F: A different day. NFL Football is already on too many days a week. When you add in college football it's overwhelming. Plus, the NFL wants to educate Brits that Sunday is football day. Well, they already know that, because that's their football (soccer) day.

Option G: Tape delay. Not in 2016.

Suddenly Option A looks pretty good, doesn't it?

Question #3: "Speaking of the Rams-Giants game, New York did a great thing by exiling Josh Brown from the team. Except the Giants did this six weeks too late. I don't know how they suddenly found out about Brown's domestic violence when it was public knowledge in early September. I just assumed no one was talking about it because, let's face it, Brown is a kicker, and no one cares about kickers. 

It's pretty outrageous that Brown wasn't suspended for six games in the first place. He was given a one-game ban, so the league obviously knew something was up. It's also been revealed that the Giants' owner was told about his domestic violence issues. So, why not suspend him for six games, when that's the rule Goodell implemented? I don't understand, and it's even more baffling as to why the league keeps trying to cover this up. It would still be wrong, but I could see the reasoning behind it if one of the faces of the league - i.e. Andrew Luck, Aaron Rodgers, etc. - were guilty of this, but why would the NFL protect some stupid kicker? And Roger Goodell wonders why NFL TV ratings are down 11 percent. Think some of those are female fans who have had enough of Goodell's bulls**t? 

I also don't need to tell you the hypocrisy surrounding this and all the NFL "does" for Breast Cancer Awareness month. I've written this before, but the whole thing is bulls**t, since, according to published news reports, the NFL only donates 3.5 percent of its proceeds to breast cancer awareness organizations, which is the bare minimum to make something tax-exempt. I understand people need to get paid, but you'd think it would still be in the ballpark of 25-50 percent. Giving just 3.5 percent is an insult, and I think that, as well as Goodell's reluctance to suspend Brown, just proves that the NFL doesn't really care about women."

Answer #3: This past Tuesday, Josh Brown released a statement saying, "It is important to share that I never struck my wife, and never would." Let's assume that this is what he also has been telling the New York Giants organization. This appears to contradict numerous other accounts, including a letter that Josh himself wrote, as well as wife Molly's journal from counselling sessions they had been attending together a couple of years ago. The key quotes and notes, with italics employed by me:

-"I have been a liar for most of my life."

-"I became an abuser and hurt Molly physically, emotionally and verbally."

-Molly claims that during her pregnancy in 2009 Josh hit her and accused her of being a gold digger.

-Authorities have recommended to the District Attorney that Josh be charged with two counts of fourth-degree domestic violence.

-On May 22, 2015, Molly Brown called 911 to report an issue of physical abuse at their home for the eighth time.

-Molly's journal claims that Josh pushes, shoves, and hits her because she challenges him, and that women like her get hit because they can't shut up.

-"I viewed myself as God basically and she was my slave."

It sounds like the Giants and the league haven't been doing their homework. Wouldn't it be interesting if we had a female commissioner?

This is the easiest suspension of all time. As soon as domestic abuse gets attached to someone, their reputation is permanently stained. It's like being a paedophile. There's just no recovery. Ray Rice offered to donate 100% of his salary to women's groups and still didn't get a job. Goodell had a real chance to do an easy 6+ games to send a message to players, make a good impression with women, and even underscore his own rule. Instead, as always, he fumbled it. If someone isn't going to be signed by anyone anyway, why not make an example of him? There's literally no answer to this other than Roger Goodell is on another level when it comes to incompetence. It's breathtaking. He has no idea what he's doing, so he just guesses. I honestly think he has to be more than just stupid, and he's likely a sociopath or a psychopath. After he got raked over the coals for giving Ray Rice only two games, he learns nothing and gives Josh Brown one game? In all seriousness, Roger Goodell needs a full psychiatric workup. He's a vacuous lunatic with no redeeming qualities. Every owner in the league should be ashamed of themselves for perpetrating this abomination of a commissionership just so they can have a brain-dead string puppet to control.

The NFL has long been regarded as the most well-run professional sports organization in the world. That can no longer be the case. Adam Silver stepped into the job of NBA commissioner and almost immediately won widespread praise for his swift and decisive reaction to the Donald Sterling controversy, from players and fans alike. Can you imagine Goodell doing anything to elicit that sort of a reaction?

The National Football League pretends it is forward-thinking by tampering with little rules here and there. But it was remarkably slow to react to the concussion issue; it could not have been worse at dealing with Ray Rice, Greg Hardy, and now Josh Brown; and the replacement refs are a permanent stain on the league, and the issue was over nothing.

Ratings continue to plummet because of the following factors:

-Oversaturation: Thursday Night Football, early London games, college football.

-Women: No representation as experts on panels, as primary refs, or in the broadcast booth on PBP or colour. Domestic abuse is treated like an inconvenience by the league.

-Kickoffs: Goodell's rule to move the kickoff five yards closer to the opposing end zone makes kick returns less exciting or nonexistent, with the obvious goal of making them so boring they won't be missed when they're phased out.

-Increasingly smart hardcore audience: People watch for personal fantasy football and gambling concerns these days, and must look on the internet to have their needs met. Guys in suits joking around might be OK for stereotypical meatheads with a beer in their hand spouting half-assed, ignorant, stream-of-consciousness pretzel logic about why their hometown team is the best. But for the rest of us modern fans, we want professional bettors and handicappers to give us legit insider info, or for the greatest fantasy football players in the world to show us their secrets. The mainstream media's obsession with slick, glossy, shallow surface-level discourse led by the indirectly qualified is just not good enough anymore. This isn't the Today show. We also don't want dinosaurs like Phil Simms insulting us.

-Mobile platforms: This isn't the league's fault, but the reality is that everything from TV ratings to album sales decreases as technology evolves the medium. People are viewing games in apps, on their computers, or on their PVR after the fact. People have multiple ways to access television in 2016, and appointment viewing is a nearly-obsolete concept.

-Too many commercials/short attention spans: Speaking of obsolete concepts, commercials are an increasingly foreign and jarring concept today. I'm used to watching TV shows on-demand and ad-free on subscription streaming services like Netflix, and I'm used to watching football on NFL RedZone. I usually mute the TV in the rare instance that I'm watching a live program as it happens on traditional terrestrial television. It's too much self-interest and yelling for me. Not only are commercials usually awful (especially with all of the election ads on American TV), but they are constant. Kickoff, commercial. Turnover, commercial. Timeout, commercial. Injury, commercial. Punt, commercial. Attention spans have been getting shorter anyway, but when there are thousands of other channels to watch, and Netflix is always at the ready, it's incredibly easy to switch to something else and never come back.

-Too many flags: I appreciate player safety and concussion awareness, but things have gotten out of hand. Too many guys are called for roughing the passer and helmet-to-helmet when they either did no such thing or where it was realistically unavoidable. Stop slowing down the game and penalizing excitement and competition. I highly recommend the Sarcastaball episode of South Park which addresses this, and is a masterpiece.

-Not knowing their own rules: What, exactly, is a catch?

-Educating mainstream fans: There are still many fans who only watch their own teams and don't have a very deep appreciation of football. Instead of just pushing idolatry and hero worship of quarterbacks, wide receivers, and running backs, why not introduce fans to all of the other players on the team? Talk about how hard and technical being an O-lineman is, for example. These guys deserve to be stars, too. I really like how CBS hired Jay Feely for analysis from a kicker's perspective. I've really enjoyed him. Of course, this is the same network that hired Phil Simms and Mike Carey, so I can't really give them any credit. Major kudos to FOX for hiring Mike Pereira, by the way.

On the subject of breast cancer donations, it's simple. Just like with suspensions for domestic violence, the NFL doesn't care about women, and is run by a gang of chauvinistic, old-school jocks. Leopards don't change their spots and you can't teach these old dogs new tricks. The NFL does the bare minimum; token gestures that allow them to sit back and be proud of themselves. Unfortunately, only the slow-motion revolutions of death and time appear to be coming to our rescue.

C-Flo

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