Open Rants by JackHo


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Pinched
Published at 3/17/2017
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Ok like seriously. Why just why. We are grown people here still pinching other people until they bleed for not wearing the color green. Why. Who simply has the time or energy to walk up to somebody and be like, "Oh your not wearing green let me pinch you". Like why. Do we really need to be doing this when he have other things to be doing. In the time I look at dead in the eyes and ask if you are sure you want to do this because I don't play games, you smile and just say sure and pinch people util the skin falls off of their arm. There are about four types of pain. One of them is the tragic kick in the balls and that is just lethal no matter who you are there is honestly no avoiding that fate it happens. The other is the classic, you do something stupid and you get hit in the gut and the air is knocked out of you like you are a fish gasping for air on land while everybody looks at you like, "are you okay say something". If you can say a full sentence while the air just knocked out of your lungs you are a national gem. The third stage of pain is getting hit in the ankle/stubbing your toe/ foot pain. When you get hit in the ankle you are K.O'd. Back when I was a kid everybody used to have those little scooters and rise them down hills all day. But the second that you picked up that scooter and it hit you in the ankle you are done. The same goes for stubbing for toe. I actually believe it or not when I was young stubbed my toe so hard it jammed in my foot and was forever shorter then the other toes and it bothered the crap out of my for months until I finally realized my fate. It is still shorter and now my family calls me Flinstone toe's. Yes that happens every year. The fourth and final type of pain is getting pinched. There is something about getting pinched that just kills me. I know I can't be the only one that every year wakes up on St. Patrick's day and does not have the color green to wear in 30 degree weather for hours. So I show up to a store a job and pretty much my own house and get pinched until the skin falls off my body. I wake up every morning that following day with blood blisters all over my arm. Literally this year I am going to smack somebody if they pinch me. Im done.

3/17/2017 - Pinched


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