Random Mailbag

These are random/interesting e-mails or Facebook posts I've received. The e-mails are italicized and left mostly unedited. My responses follow them.

1/18/10: One Pick Wrong, Six New Hate Mails

From Chris H.:

I recently heard about your site and am convinced your a hoax. You either owe someone a lot of money or were paid off by Vegas. You are literally the worst "expert" i have ever seen, read, or heard of. It is 3:22 EST, and your about to go 0-3 through 3 games this weekend. Down 1430 you should just off yourself for giving this advice to the working public. I will no longer visit your site because you are a joke.

Thank you for absolutely nothing you friggen idiot


--> I'm glad you like the site and thanks for the e-mail. I really appreciate it.

I think if you search hard enough, you may find a guy who is 0-3 this weekend AND has lost money on the year. I'm at least up on the year, but have suffered from terrible luck lately. The teams I've picked this weekend have 10 fumbles and are 1-4 on FGs. The teams I went against have 0 fumbles and are 5-5 on FGs.

But hey, if you've been with me all year, you'd be up $3,400. on $100 bets. You're right, I definitely am a hoax. Earning a 34% ROI for people is a disgrace.

Thanks for the hatemail material.

From John M.:

I have lost $14,300 on your picks so far this weekend! You are terrible! You are the worst. You said IND AND NO were overrated and BAL AND ARZ were underrated. This had nothing to do with the refs.

This is a disgrace and I demand rational explanations. Why don't you just committ NFL pick suicide you are the worst NFL picker on the Internet. THE ABSOLUTE WORST.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


--> Wow, $14,300? I didn't even bet that much on my own picks. If you need to take out a loan to repay your bookie, I know a guy. Or you can just go double or nothing on the Chargers because I'm bound to get that one wrong too.

From John M. (Again):

You didn't give any explanations as to why your picks were wrong. You cost me a lot of money. My family is going to disown me. You're the worst - stop making NFL picks you're a joke!


--> Families are overrated.

My explanation is that I may have urinated on an Indian burial ground one night when I was drunk. Check these numbers out from the three games this weekend:

Teams I Picked:
Fumbles: 10. FGs: 1-4.

Teams I Went Against:
Fumbles: 0. FGs: 5-5.

From John M. (Yet Again):

Your fault for not taking into account turnovers and special teams. GET IT RIGHT SOME TIME THIS YEAR!!!!1!11!!!!


--> Yes, my ability to project something as unpredictable as fumbles was my downfall. I knew I shouldn't have gone into this picking business without the super power of divination. Man, am I an idiot.

From Ryan B.:

Bro come on I took a parlay with ur predictions AGAIN and you you have been completely wrong all 3 games none of your predictions were even close! How long do u take to study these teams theres no way u take long because this besides week 3 which all favs one u have done nothing but .500 picks GROSS


--> The sad thing is, this is my full-time job, so even though I spend 100 hours a week studying these teams, I can't even come close. Imagine if I did this part-time... I'd be 20% ATS and down 5 billion units.

At least my college basketball pick won today. Have to find a silver lining somewhere.

From Chad B.:

BOT WERE YOU WRONG!!

Saints will have a hard time scoring???

Ravens over the Colts??

Im better off getting my picks from a 3rd grader!!

GO SAINTS!!!


--> Bot was I wrong? What is a Bot?

You are obviously from the future where 3rd-graders are genius handicappers. I'll take your e-mail as a compliment.






Jerks of the Week