Random Mailbag
WalterFootball.com's Archive
Walter of WalterFootball has been WalterFootball'ing since 1999'. Older Content is being kept around here. Thanks for reading.
These are random/interesting e-mails or Facebook posts I've received. The e-mails are italicized and left mostly unedited. My responses follow them.
12/19/09: Kansas, Matt Millen, Stolen Word
From Blake H.:
I am probably going to attend Kansas next year, and as a future Jayhawk, I was sooo pissed with the Turner Gill hire.
If you play in one of the softest p***y conferences in the country, how can you be labeled a "success" when you go 10 games under .500 at 20-30 and only make one bowl in your coaching tenure? If you can't dominate the MAC, how the f*** are you going to dominate in the Big-12?
Also, this is such affirmative-action bulls***. You see all the liberal ESPN p*****s PISS & MOAN about how there aren't enough black coached in the NCAA. After the Gill hire, there are 11 black coaches out of 110 programs. Assuming there are 110 programs, I don't know the exact number of D-1 programs, that makes 10% of coaches black. How is this an awful percentage when blacks make up 13% of the US population? Sounds about right to me...
How come liberal ESPN doesn't demand that there be more white running backs? I demand that for every black coach that is hired, a white RB must be recruited to a power conference team too. Fair is fair.
If Gill was white, he wouldn't have even been considered for a mid-level coordinator job. But, since he's black, and fills a quota, and is viewed by the media as a really nice guy, he now is qualified to coach KU? WTF? Did I miss something here... Why not hire my High School Assistant Principal - he's a really nice black guy whom I talk to about gambling to. He's just as f***ing qualified in my mind as Gill is.
Give me a break. If you can't win in the MAC, you can't win in the Big-12.
And sure, Gill is probably a nice guy and would make a heck of a QB coach, but as a head coach for a team that won the Orange Bowl two years ago, this is a joke and I hope it costs AD Lew Perkins his head.
--> Did you just say that you talk about gambling with your high school assistant principal?
I think this was a PR hire. Mark Mangino was just canned for allegedly hitting, abusing and eating some of his players. Kansas needed a "nice guy" to come in to avoid anymore fatalities.
Plus, it's not like Kansas is a football powerhouse. Who else could you possibly get, Romeo Crennel?
From Stephan B.:
I can't believe NFL network and ESPN have Millen on their staff and giving football advice and opinions; to me, that's like Tiger Woods giving marriage counseling courses... what the hell...
By the way, you should research Millen's picks on Monday night football, I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure he's the worst of the 10 or so who pick on TV before kickoffs (another way to make fun of him!!)
--> How dare you make fun of Matt Millen? The man is a genius.
This guy held on to a general manager job for nearly a decade. He was cunning enough to spend top-10 picks on huge talents like Charles Rogers and Mike Williams. He's even stayed on the NFL rules committee despite not even knowing the rules! I don't think you realize how much skill all of that takes.
So what if Millen sucks at Monday night picks? Anyone can pick games correctly. I personally think it's more of a challenge to be wrong all of the time.
From Kameron Z.:
What is the deal with organic food?
My roommate will get organic milk, salsa, and peanut butter from the store, but will then proceed to buy a 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon from the liquor store! There is no way PBR is organic! What gives?
Does the 12 pack of PBR negate the quart of organic milk he bought? Will his body feel the imbalance between organic and non-organic materials? Or his he just a new-age yuppie hippie who thinks it's cool to buy organic?
How's this for a hypothetical; You are an NFL GM (other than Al Davis). You are interviewing prospective quarterbacks to potentially take in the 3rd or 4th round of the draft. Colt McCoy has good character, but only eats the finest organic products available. Zac Robinson also has good character, but claims he eats Taco Bell five times per week. How does this affect your draft board?
--> I'd probably tell Colt McCoy to start eating manly food so that he stops throwing like a girl.
I'm glad you excluded Al Davis though. Undead Al eats nothing but organic food. I'm pretty sure that human flesh is organic, right?
I'm with you with this whole organic food thing. It seems like something that artsy-fartsy new-age hippies like to do besides spend their entire $30/week salary at Starbucks pretending to be writing books and painting pictures.
From Preston:
For your defensive YPC and YPA listings for this week in your NFL Power Rankings, you have more teams in blue (good average) verses red (bad average), and even have bold red for some teams further down both lists.
Don't you think that's being overly negative? It's like you're saying, "You couple of guys in blue, you're good, but all you bunch of guys in red, you're bad. And you in bold red especially suck!" It's more likely that an NFL defender on one of the 'red' teams will come look at your site and have his feelings hurt.
I think you should fix your color-codings, and maybe include some smiley faces.
--> You make a good point - if I sound more positive, the players who read the power rankings will be more upbeat and they'll improve.
I don't know if anyone would like the smiley faces though, aside from JaMarcus Russell. He'd probably giggle for hours just staring at the faces with drool coming out of his mouth.
From Caesar K.:
Someone stole your word!
Check out the Fourth line, fifth word!
--> This is a proud moment for me. I'm smiling with a tear coming out of my eye. I feel like a dad who just watched his son graduate from college.
As more people continue to use debacled, debacling, debaclment, debaclization, debaclize, debaclatory, debacler and debaclarchy, let us remember where it all came from.
Only man is capable of debaclizing the English language like this: Mr. Emmitt Smith.
Jerks of the Week
12/19/09: Kansas, Matt Millen, Stolen Word
I am probably going to attend Kansas next year, and as a future Jayhawk, I was sooo pissed with the Turner Gill hire.
If you play in one of the softest p***y conferences in the country, how can you be labeled a "success" when you go 10 games under .500 at 20-30 and only make one bowl in your coaching tenure? If you can't dominate the MAC, how the f*** are you going to dominate in the Big-12?
Also, this is such affirmative-action bulls***. You see all the liberal ESPN p*****s PISS & MOAN about how there aren't enough black coached in the NCAA. After the Gill hire, there are 11 black coaches out of 110 programs. Assuming there are 110 programs, I don't know the exact number of D-1 programs, that makes 10% of coaches black. How is this an awful percentage when blacks make up 13% of the US population? Sounds about right to me...
How come liberal ESPN doesn't demand that there be more white running backs? I demand that for every black coach that is hired, a white RB must be recruited to a power conference team too. Fair is fair.
If Gill was white, he wouldn't have even been considered for a mid-level coordinator job. But, since he's black, and fills a quota, and is viewed by the media as a really nice guy, he now is qualified to coach KU? WTF? Did I miss something here... Why not hire my High School Assistant Principal - he's a really nice black guy whom I talk to about gambling to. He's just as f***ing qualified in my mind as Gill is.
Give me a break. If you can't win in the MAC, you can't win in the Big-12.
And sure, Gill is probably a nice guy and would make a heck of a QB coach, but as a head coach for a team that won the Orange Bowl two years ago, this is a joke and I hope it costs AD Lew Perkins his head.
--> Did you just say that you talk about gambling with your high school assistant principal?
I think this was a PR hire. Mark Mangino was just canned for allegedly hitting, abusing and eating some of his players. Kansas needed a "nice guy" to come in to avoid anymore fatalities.
Plus, it's not like Kansas is a football powerhouse. Who else could you possibly get, Romeo Crennel?
I can't believe NFL network and ESPN have Millen on their staff and giving football advice and opinions; to me, that's like Tiger Woods giving marriage counseling courses... what the hell...
By the way, you should research Millen's picks on Monday night football, I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure he's the worst of the 10 or so who pick on TV before kickoffs (another way to make fun of him!!)
--> How dare you make fun of Matt Millen? The man is a genius.
This guy held on to a general manager job for nearly a decade. He was cunning enough to spend top-10 picks on huge talents like Charles Rogers and Mike Williams. He's even stayed on the NFL rules committee despite not even knowing the rules! I don't think you realize how much skill all of that takes.
So what if Millen sucks at Monday night picks? Anyone can pick games correctly. I personally think it's more of a challenge to be wrong all of the time.
What is the deal with organic food?
My roommate will get organic milk, salsa, and peanut butter from the store, but will then proceed to buy a 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon from the liquor store! There is no way PBR is organic! What gives?
Does the 12 pack of PBR negate the quart of organic milk he bought? Will his body feel the imbalance between organic and non-organic materials? Or his he just a new-age yuppie hippie who thinks it's cool to buy organic?
How's this for a hypothetical; You are an NFL GM (other than Al Davis). You are interviewing prospective quarterbacks to potentially take in the 3rd or 4th round of the draft. Colt McCoy has good character, but only eats the finest organic products available. Zac Robinson also has good character, but claims he eats Taco Bell five times per week. How does this affect your draft board?
--> I'd probably tell Colt McCoy to start eating manly food so that he stops throwing like a girl.
I'm glad you excluded Al Davis though. Undead Al eats nothing but organic food. I'm pretty sure that human flesh is organic, right?
I'm with you with this whole organic food thing. It seems like something that artsy-fartsy new-age hippies like to do besides spend their entire $30/week salary at Starbucks pretending to be writing books and painting pictures.
For your defensive YPC and YPA listings for this week in your NFL Power Rankings, you have more teams in blue (good average) verses red (bad average), and even have bold red for some teams further down both lists.
Don't you think that's being overly negative? It's like you're saying, "You couple of guys in blue, you're good, but all you bunch of guys in red, you're bad. And you in bold red especially suck!" It's more likely that an NFL defender on one of the 'red' teams will come look at your site and have his feelings hurt.
I think you should fix your color-codings, and maybe include some smiley faces.
--> You make a good point - if I sound more positive, the players who read the power rankings will be more upbeat and they'll improve.
I don't know if anyone would like the smiley faces though, aside from JaMarcus Russell. He'd probably giggle for hours just staring at the faces with drool coming out of his mouth.
Someone stole your word!
Check out the Fourth line, fifth word!
--> This is a proud moment for me. I'm smiling with a tear coming out of my eye. I feel like a dad who just watched his son graduate from college.
As more people continue to use debacled, debacling, debaclment, debaclization, debaclize, debaclatory, debacler and debaclarchy, let us remember where it all came from.
Only man is capable of debaclizing the English language like this: Mr. Emmitt Smith.
Jerks of the Week