The GOAT

Published: April 23, 2026 42 Views 1 Comments Draft: 2026
Contest entry and Dad jokes.

Round 1

Picks 1-16 Picks 17-32
17.
Monroe Freeling , OT , Georgia
Here's the new luxury car from Detroit. I gotta get the LT model.
18.
Dillon Thieneman , S , Oregon
Wins the award for "Best Match for a Team Need After Pick 1". So, he'll probably drop to the Panthers.
19.
Kenyon Sadiq , TE , Oregon
The Panthers need to see what Bryce can do with more horses. Here's a unicorn.
20.
Malachi Lawrence , DE , Central Florida
A late riser has caught Jerry's eye. Don't drink and draft.
21.
Akheem Mesidor , DE , Miami
Is there a more pirate-like name? Fire the coach! Err, I mean, fire the cannons!
22.
Keldric Faulk , DE , Auburn
Odafe is gone. Khalil is getting long in the tooth. This is Oweh to replace him.
23.
Max Iheanachor , OT , Arizona State
Johnson retires next year, in the meantime, stand Guard.
24.
Denzel Boston , WR , Washington
Shedeur is an accurate passer. But if nobody is there to catch the ball, was it really thrown?
25.
T.J. Parker , DE , Clemson
Get the run-stopping EDGE here and the run-stopping DT in the next round. Priorities people!
26.
Kayden McDonald , DT , Ohio State
McPounder has a nose for the ball in a 3-4.
27.
Caleb Lomu , OT , Utah
Trent will be 38 before the season starts. Even a HOF'er gets cut for cap purposes.
28.
Blake Miller , OT , Clemson
Miller has 4 years of starter experience, meaning, they could have started Miller over his last 4 years. Take the 5th year option.
29.
K.C. Concepcion , WR , Texas A&M
Instant Karma in KC.
30.
Chris Johnson , CB , San Diego State
I'm not sure if this pick will be a Corner or well, any other position, but the Corner talent looks as good as any here.
31.
Ty Simpson , QB , Alabama
Trade! The Cards may not need to trade up for Simpson, but the Jets have the cards to tie up Ty first if they want to. Plus, don't ask the in-division Seahawks for any professional courtesy.
32.
Colton Hood , CB , Tennessee
They'd like to trade down, but alas, only Arizona is on the horn. Let's look under the Hood for a new CB to replace the two we lost.
Picks 1-16 Picks 17-32